When my baby was born & perhaps after the first two weeks, I'd imagine my life when I worked in breakfast radio: I got up sometime after 4am, and worked really hard through the day, with tight deadlines, being zippy, using lots of energy... and then how the job would extend to outside of work hours... like seeing a gig or a show late at night... and the constant overtired, but excitable, adrenaline fuelled feelings mixing with drunkedness or hungoverness.
So having a baby was luxurious in comparison. I didn't have to 'produce' any radio, or anyone... just care for and mother a baby who had his own deadlines, but they're very simple deadlines... because after a while once the 'THIS IS SO WEIRD' brain freeze & euphoria leaves you, it's simply: feed, care, cuddle, kiss, laugh, talk... sleep and change nappy after nappy after nappy. People asked me if I was sleeping or if having a baby was 'hard' and I was like, compared to breakfast radio, this is awesome.
But, it's a huge time shift and I found not needing to care or know about the time has become one of my biggest strengths in these early stages of motherhood. At first, I'd check the time he woke, the time he fed... I'd time the breastfeeding (in case someone like a midwife or nurse asked me) and kept track of 'which side' (AKA WHICH BOOB) was next (Husbie found me an iphone app, of course)... because, I was finally in control of something (you cannot be in control during pregnancy or birth, so my mantra was Let It Go & This Too Shall Pass)... but really... by the time Baby Darling was 3 months old... being in the moment of the time shift (and not caring about the time) became so liberating.
Sure we have to function during the day and be places ON time... but with new mothers people are so vague on starting times for a reason. When Baby Darling was 8 weeks old I met up with an old friend with her baby, who is a few months older (and at 8 weeks that's a huge difference in age) and I remember sitting in the cafe wondering why we weren't 'wrapping' up the conversation... NONE OF US HAD ANYWHERE ELSE TO BE, and we were on babytime. Time is even more fluid and comes and goes. Not caring what time it is makes me happier and a better mother. (I can't believe I just wrote 'a better mother'... what is happening!?!
Love to you, and I wonder if you have some holidays to enjoy over the weekend coming? I'm NOT producing radio tomorrow, so might enjoy some of the comedy festival as a punter (a punter with a 6 month old, so limited perhaps) and relax with the family.
Enjoy x
Your story is taking me back to my own babies' early days... :) I'm glad you are enjoying this time of your life so much, it is so precious and passes quickly. Not meaning that to sound a downer, or a cliche (which it is) but being a young mother with her first baby is a magical and lovely time in our busy lives.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mom, but what a cool way of looking at mothering a young infant, and as you said, how liberating! You may be the next genius to "get" mothering. Great mother indeed you are! I'm always happy to read your blog though rarely comment. Best wishes to you and your family!
ReplyDeleteDitto to what Carolyn has said. I too had no where else to be; just attend to my little boy and partner. Some people don't appreciate that the time you devote to your child when they are young (and not so young) comes back to you 100 fold. If you don't show them how to give time to someone, how will they give you time later. Enjoy Easter and the Comedy Festival. x
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