Why Am I Here? Who Am I?

Now we're in Shanghai, my wonderfully talented photographer Husband (not his real job) is working. A LOT. That's why we are here, and it's only for a while, not forever. So I'm stuck taking self timer photos in my apartment while the weather is rainy. Stuck inside and pondering:

Why Am I Here? What am I doing here? Who am I? Why am I? (my Mandarin Teacher taught me ‘Who Am I’ in Chinese the other day and we just giggled)

I’m back blogging for a few reasons (all that other philosophical stuff will forever be questioned, but another time), and because we’re sewing friends, and craft stuff for ourselves and take photos of ourselves (most of us do these days, right?) and write about it… there's an overwhelming sense of joy.... I think you might know a bit about my thoughts here… 

HAPPY SEWING FEELING

So I wanna sew and create again to feel good all the time! I felt VERY VERY VERY happy sewing all the time and writing about it! I loved the way my clothes looked and I looked wearing them. I loved wearing stuff I made. I still do. So I’m after my happy sewing buzz again. 

But also, wearing my own clothes and making things fit right, usually always helped me:

FEEL POSITINA TURNER ABOUT MY BODY IMAGE

Body-wise: I feel quite plain right now. So I’m hoping sewing & blogging will help me take some action! There’s nothing more motivating than seeing photos of yourself online in a public space to get a new spark or new ideas on body image! I need to be a bit more Posi-Tina Turner again. But I also want to put my image out there as ‘real woman’ image as well. I know it’s going to shock you, but I’ve NEVER been a model! I KNOW RIGHT. I was on telly a few times with my old job, in the BACKGROUND. But I’m a real woman and I want my clothes to fit me for my body and shape (and to show that off to the world) and if you can’t remember:

I’m 4 foot 11 and that’s 150 cm tall. SHORT PETITE

Real woman size right here. I started sewing because shop-bought clothing did not fit me properly! And right now, after almost 2 years of breastfeeding I have 10E bras instead of 10C bras. What a weird proportioned unique body! However, I am 36 years old and just moved to China and clothing fits me for the first time! I have to find stretchy tops to fit the bust, but clothing fits perfectly well! But I’ll get to that abundance of clothing choice in a minute.

Right now, another reason why I feel plain, is because my hair is a bit drab. Or I think so. My hair changed so much last year, post pregnancy & post breastfeeding, so I had to chop it off. Then coming to Shanghai it immediately dried out from the humidity, so I met up with a new hairdresser here and whilst I’m happy with the condition of my hair, it’s still not the boldest it’s been. Oh well, I think I’ll ALWAYS have some problem with my hair! 

Anyways I’m not sure about you, but when I’ve sewn for myself, I’ve always felt in tune with my body, happy with my body and how to look after it. And I’ve also worked (and maybe been a bit younger) so keep trim enough and all that… But I feel that for the few years where I’ve not been motivated to sew & create for myself, I didn’t have as much focus or pride in myself… and I’m not sure if I feel frumpy so therefore I am frumpy or the other way around… but having a baby and then breastfeeding (for close to 3 years my body wasn’t really mine) took a lot of energy for me so my priorities shifted a lot. 

Which leads me into another reason why I wanna sew and blog again... for slow fashion.

SLOW FASHION PLS

I found fast fashion (the kind where you are just walking around near the shops so you go into the shops and you buy the Ready To Wear stuff that’s in the shops, without any thinking about whether you need the clothes or not) when I moved to Shanghai. I dabbled a bit here and there before moving to China, with things I needed from the op shop & couldn't make quickly, then things I couldn’t find at the op shop I started to look in real life shopping centres. When we got to Shanghai, that’s all people do! Hang out in shopping centres! We did too... to escape the heat and now the cold, and because there are nice playgrounds for our boy to play in. And then you go shopping! And buy shit you don't need. I DON’T USUALLY DO THIS.

So! Fast fashion is everywhere because it’s CHINA! There's heaps more to say about this, but you can see what I'm on about right (!?)... I’m back is to keep writing about all this again, and to motivate myself to slow down with my clothing choices and I want be reminded about my thrifty and secondhandness and reuse, recycle and redo mantra….

Here I am, back in blogging, being a dork in front of the camera to feel happy and creative and shift my world again. I don’t want to be wishy washy with my ethics and values, I want to be true & have conviction. 

Hello again and can’t wait to sew along with you all again!*

xoxo

*and not be pictured in entirely store bought clothing that fits very well, but is still from a Global Chain Store that says it's all about sustainability, but I don't know. I'm here to find out more about where clothing and fabric is made, so I can make good clothing choices! Hurray!